Memory Cafe provides community, interaction for those with dementia

“How long have you been married?” one man asks another.

“I don’t remember,” the second responds.

“It’s OK. I forget stuff a lot, too,” the first man replies with a laugh.

This may be a surprising exchange, but it is the reality for people who suffer from memory loss. These two men have some form of early dementia and are enjoying each other’s company over coffee and games at the monthly Sturgeon Bay Memory Café.

This was just the prelude to a conversation that ebbed and flowed around many topics that included a discussion of their wives, the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears rivalry and how good the strawberry cake is.

In between working on Valentine’s Day word searches, playing cards and piecing together puzzles, those who attended the February love-themed event at the United Methodist Church in Sturgeon Bay may not have realized the impact they were having on each others' lives.

“Socialization is different when you are at the mercy of memory loss,” UMC Parish Nurse Carol Moellenberndt said.

Moellenberndt said when people are diagnosed with a form of dementia, like Alzheimer’s disease, they begin to think of themselves negatively.

“Our ultimate goal is to accomplish a dementia-friendly community,” Moellenberndt said. “We needed to do something so people suffering from memory loss don’t have to think they are alone.”

She said Door County has an increasing elderly population, and has one of the highest ratios in the state, and this was a new way to support this group of people.

The Memory Cafe has been operating since July, after Moellenberndt learned about the Fox Valley Memory Project Memory Cafe programming. With the help of Christy Wisniewski, a geriatric outreach specialist with the Ministry Memory Clinic of Door County, the project got off the ground. With direction from the Alzheimer’s and Dementia Alliance of Wisconsin, the cafe was developed in Sturgeon Bay and a second is in the works for the northern part of the county.

“The people who I’m familiar with, have opened up here,” Wisniewski said. “I see this sense of connections and liveliness in their faces, which is something you don’t see people with memory loss doing out in the community.”

She said the cafes are made to be a comfortable and safe place, as those with dementia feel their minds would permit them from having a normal conversation or they would embarrass themselves for not knowing the right word or memory right away.

Conversations at the Memory Cafe are encouraged by a number of volunteers, who cue further questions or stories to help ensure positive interactions.

“We want this environment to feel like a coffee house experience; meeting new people and talking over coffee,” Wisniewski said.

To make things fun, the entire group introduced themselves to each other and told a story about their favorite Valentine’s Day memory.

Each story was different, some talked about sharing valentines in their schools, some talked about valentine's dates, and one woman shared that she and her husband were married on the Day of Love.

After chatting and playing games, the cafe organizers offer some sort of group activity that can be crafty, intelligent, simple or challenging. For Monday's event, a puppet show and sing-along entertained the older group with love songs including “Love is a Many Splendored Thing,” “Blueberry Hill,” and “The 12th of Never.”

Some people sang along with the stanzas printed out for them, and some knew the classic songs by heart.

After the show, everyone was treated to sweet pink treats, coffee and more conversation. As people mingled, conversations could be overheard related to grandchildren or current events in the county. Caregivers also talked to each other discussing and sharing tips about different activities their loved ones enjoyed or disliked.

“Coming here gets us out of the house,” said Jeanette Reda of Egg Harbor. Her husband, Sam, has been diagnosed with Stage 1 of the Alzheimer's Disease.

“It’s important to stay active and socialize with Alzheimer's, and we’ve only missed one or two of these events,” Reda said. “Sam and I enjoy this so much.”

Last month, the Memory Cafe was held at the Maritime Museum.

“We saw them open up to share their maritime experiences,” Wisniewski said. “Many of them have grown up around here and have a lot of stories to share."

The first memory cafe was established in the Netherlands in the early 2000s, and the idea was established in Wisconsin with the help of University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh Professor of Psychology Susan McFadden after she visited Europe and learned about their benefits.

According to a 2011 study, “Evaluation of Alzheimer’s Australia Vic Memory Lane Cafes,” from the National Ageing Research Institute of Melbourne, these cafes promoted social inclusion, prevent isolation and improve the social and emotional well-being of attendees.

The study, which evaluated memory cafes in Victoria, Australia, included focus groups and surveys of those with Alzheimer's and their caregivers, service providers and researcher observations, recommended the cafes continue and extending their services be explored. Based on the evaluation outcomes, the Department of Health Victoria funded four additional pilot programs in cafe style support services.

The state of Wisconsin has the Healthy Brain Initiative Project, a partnership among the Department of Health services, the Alzheimer's Association of Southeastern Wisconsin, and AARP Wisconsin to implement the Wisconsin Dementia Care System Redesign Plan. The focus of the plan is to educate communities about dementia as a chronic disease and find strategies in the public, government and business sectors to promote collaboration with people with dementia and their caregivers.

According to the state’s “Building Dementia-Friendly Communities Toolkit,” communities like this build infrastructure to support and take responsibility for enlarging the beneficial effect of services for those with dementia and their caregivers.

“Individuals with dementia are able to live good lives, have the ability to live as independently as possible, continue to be part of their communities, are met with understanding and are given support where necessary,” the toolkit explains.

This Memory Cafe is only the beginning of how Door County is growing to support individuals with dementia.

-abloechl@doorcountyadvocate.com, Twitter@alyssabloechl, FacebookAlyssa Bloechl

FYI

For more information about the Sturgeon Bay Memory Cafe, call the United Methodist Church at 920-743-3241. The next two meetings are scheduled for 2-3:30 p.m. March 7 (Write on, Door County program) and April 4 (woodworking with Elroy Rasmussen) at the Sturgeon Bay Methodist Church, 836 Michigan St.

More information on the Wisconsin Healthy Brain Initiative, visit www.dhs.whisconsin.gov.

The Fox Valley Memory Project website is www.foxvalleymemoryproject.org/ and it offers information about their programming and memory cafes.